Calories Burned During Sex!

CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent	12 Calories
Without her consent	2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands	8 Calories
With one hand	12 Calories
With your teeth	485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection	6 Calories
Without an erection	3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary	12 Calories
69 lying down	78 Calories
69 standing up	812 Calories
Wheelbarrow	216 Calories
Doggy Style	326 Calories
Italian chandelier	2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real	112 Calories
Fake	1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging	18 Calories
Getting up immediately	36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately	816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years	36 Calories
30-39 years	80 Calories
40-49 years	124 Calories
50-59 years	1,972 Calories
60-69 years	7,916 Calories
70 and over	Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly..	32 Calories
In a hurry	98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door	5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door	13,521 Calories
Results may vary!
THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD
Right now, as you read this,
69 Million Americans are having SEX!
And you're on the computer!!!